“Thanks be to the good Lord Jesus. He has listened to the prayers of a mother who wants to commit her son in her womb to the Lord to become His servant. This book shares the journey of Jeffrey’s life struggle since he answered God’s calling until the year 2023. May this book becomes a blessing for many people.”

• Ita Sayuri - Jeffrey Lim’s Mother

“This book is truly inspiring. The testimony of Jeffrey’s life gives hope to the dark soul in the grace of Christ.”

• Joshua Lie, M.Phil., Ph.D. (Cand.) – Pastor of Indonesian Reformed Evangelical Church Trinity

“God’s Light in the Midst of Darkness. Another amazingly inspiring work of Jeffrey Lim who experienced bipolar mood disorder. In his suffering, Jeffrey has struggled toward recovery and has gained a deeper knowledge of the Lord, whose existence and power he trusts. Jeffrey has also been quite open in accepting the reality of his condition so that he was able to change his paradigm. He also attempts to learn more about the disorder he suffers from various books and media in order to overcome his difficulties through each grace that the Lord provides. This book truly strengthens our faith through its message: everything that happens in this life will bring about good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28).”

• Rachmat Purwata, Sp.KJ. – Psychiatrist and Christian Counsellor in Santosa Hospital, Bandung

“I am deeply touched by each sentence that I read in this book. For someone with schizoaffective disorder who is being treated with psychotic medication, it is never easy to summarize the whole process of his life into a wonderful, epic book that truly blesses its readers. In brother Jeffrey’s encounter with Christ, all the symptoms of the mental disorder that he experiences are processed and continually being perfected. Brother Jeffery continues to struggle and to be sustained in victory. He is transformed, instead of just doing nothing about his condition. With the blessing of extraordinary intelligence, an eagerness to recover and to be a blessing, the love from those around him, and a thirst for science and the application of psychotherapy techniques that he learned, brother Jeffrey is able to flap his wings to become a beautiful butterfly that inspires many people. This book will be an inspiration for the clients in the Rehabilitation Center that we serve, for their families, for the caregivers who serve people with mental disorder, for psychology and theology students, or for everyone who is interested in mental health ministry. Congratulations, brother Jeffrey! Thank you for fighting and sharing with us the weaknesses and the vulnerability that you experience. Thank you for not dwelling in weakness, and for announcing victory instead in every process of recovery. Through Jeffrey’s encounter with Christ, every scar from his wounded heart has been transformed and expressed as an inspiring written work.”

• Shirley Angeline, M.Psi. – Psychologist, Lecturer of Psychology at Satya Wacana University and co-founder of Rumah Pemulihan Efata

“An honest book based on a real struggle. May this book bless and comfort many people.”

• Hendry Ongkowijoyo, S.E., M.Div., Th.M., D.Th. – Lecturer of STT Reformed Injili Internasional

“Jeffrey is a tough person, and he always thirsts for the Lord in his heart. In all his limitations, Jeffrey is consistent in his pursue to know the Lord and to experience His presence in a real way. Through a practical theological reflection from his journey and his real life experiences as a Christian, Jeffrey invites us to explore, to know the Lord and to know ourselves through a unique approach: understanding our limitations, identifying the effects of the Fall as the root of all the complexities of human life, and recognizing how amazing God’s grace is which surpasses human limitations.

Apparently, God is able to manage and use our limitations wonderfully and uniquely in His kingdom as we identify and discover them. I interacted with Jeffery during his study in STTRII, and I am always amazed at how the Lord has used Jeffrey with all the wonders of His grace. I pray that this book will become a blessing for many people, just as Jeffrey’s life has blessed many people. As I read this book, I fell so blessed seeing the marvellous traces of the Lord’s grace in Jeffrey’s life! I encourage every parent, especially parents with special need children, to read this book and to be blessed through itu. Also, every Christian who reads this book will certainly be enriched after seeing the Christian life from a different perspective. Congratulations, Jeffrey! Praise your Lord, praise our God! Soli Deo Gloria!”

• Lay Hendra Wijaya, S.E., M.C.S., M.Th. - Lecturer of Philosophy and Theology in STT Reformed Injili Internasional, Minister in GRII

“I was Jeffrey’s thesis advisor in STTRII. I was involved in the process from beginning to end, and up to its defense. The two-year process of thesis writing was interrupted for a few months when Jeffrey could not write due to his health issues caused by his medication, and the second time also for another few months when Jeffrey undergone a very dark period due to his mental disorder. One morning, as usual, I drove along the toll road to STTRII campus. Suddenly, there was a terrible traffic jam caused by an accident that involved a long container truck loaded with steel piles ahead. I was in the farthest right track of the road. As I turn to the right, I saw very dark clouds in the sky, as if the rain were about to fall. But the strange thing was, far ahead the sky looked bright without any cloud. I was puzzled. During the half an hour in the traffic jam, I repeatedly turn toward the dark clouds on my right. Then, something astonishing happened. On the outer circle of the dark clouds, there was a bright golden light. Ah, that’s the sunlight that stayed in its place behind the dark clouds. It had not changed nor moved, but continued to shine its light unhindered by even the darkest cloud. As I meditated on the “sighting”, one thing came to my mind, could this be related to Jeffrey’s life struggle and the thesis that he was fighting hard to accomplish?

After Jeffrey graduated and up to this day, I am confident that the All-loving God who greatly loves Jeffrey and his family at that moment intended to give the confirmation that behind the dark clouds of Jeffrey’s life and soul struggle, the unchanging God is always present, just like the sun that keeps shining its light, unhindered by any cloud, no matter how dark it may be. This book, Jeffrey, is a confirmation of the presence and the warmth of God’s eternal sunlight, and His work in your life .”

• Ina E. Muljono, B.Th., Th.M. – Lecturer of New Testament in STT Reformed Injili Internasional

“Christians are familiar with Charles Spurgeon’s incredible sermons. But, rarely do they know that Spurgeon’s days were filled with struggles from depression and severe trauma that he underwent. William Cowper’s hymn were sung by many churches, but we might not know that the brilliant author had been struggling with torturing suicidal thoughts. The Lord granted me the opportunity to become Jeffrey’s friend during his mental struggle for a while. In his struggle, he didn’t always win. There were times when Jeffrey felt trapped in a deep darkness. But I noticed that Jeffrey could always see God’s light, even in the deepest darkness. He was willing to try, even though there were times when he failed. He fought hard to rise, even though he sometimes fell. I thank the Lord also that He gave Laura to be Jeffrey’s wife to faithfully be by his side. I thank the Lord that Jeffrey continues to be productive throughout his moments of joy and sadness. May this writing once again shows the Lord’s lovingkindness that constantly sustains and strengthens Jeffrey ”

• Ivan Kristiono, S.Sn., M.Div., M.Hum. (GRII Central) – A friend

 “Life is a long and difficult process. In it we encounter the interrelational scars that causes us to feel exhausted, desperate and wanting to quit. But the presence of the One who has brought us into a bond of love makes life and relationships worthy to pursue and to fight for. More or less, this imagery reminds me of Jeffrey Lim. Through Jeffrey’s life, I once again see the magnificence of God’s work in a different format. Being in touch with Jeffrey’s life has enriched my heart with a deeper understanding of Jesus’ transforming work of redemption that transforms and gives hope. I truly rejoice to see Jeffrey’s life journey, his wife Laura, and their daugher Fidelia Charis. My heart is warmed everytime I remember them. Seeing and reading this book has added one more joy which brings about gratitude and praise for the Lord’s goodness in Jeffrey’s life. This book shows the difficult struggles which are made beautiful in their time. This book also show how matters of doctrine and theology which are often considered impractical become God’s effective tool in the hand of the Redeemer. May this book encourages the rise of people like Jeffrey, who continue to equip themselves with the teaching of Reformed theology and continue to meditate on the Gospel of the Grace of Jesus Christ in the midst of the tides of life. I hope and pray that this book can reach those who have the same experiences with Jeffrey, to take them to meet Jesus, who has been shepherding Jeffrey. I believe it has been Jeffrey’s desire and the desire of every believer to experience an encounter with the Great Shepherd who will save His flock. Soli Deo Gloria.”

• Vicaris Dra. Dewi Maya M. Sianturi, M.Th. – Adjunct-Coordinator of Education in Sekolah Kristen Calvin, Jakarta

“I came to know Jeffrey in 2007 in the dormitory of Reformed Institute Jakarta. And until now, I can never imagine the hardship that he endures. But I clearly see and find through Jeffrey’s life that the gospel is the power of God that saves every believer.  Also, the strength and the power of the gospel that springs from Jeffrey’s life will always remind me of the life story of William Cowper with his hymn God Moves in a Mysterious Way.”

• Sundoro Tanuwidjaja, M.Th. – Lecturer in Sekolah Tinggi Teologi Johanes Calvin Bali, Pastor of GKPK Providensia Denpasar.

 “I am thankful to be able to know Jeffrey in seminary and to witness the process of his struggles for years until he is finally able to live the reality in the light of God’s Word as the final answer to his struggles. I accompanied Jeffrey a few times when he experienced the dark moments of the soul. We struggled and shared our lives together, and this memory becomes a part that Jeffrey will never forget in his writing. May it also helps to encourage us to serve and to restore each other in the family of God.“

• Nawi Yen, M.C.S., Pastor in GKY Puri Indah, Jeffrey’s spiritual brother, and roommate in Reformed Institute from 1998 to 1999

 “I met Jeffrey through social media and was impressed by his honesty, openness, and ministry. Our friendship began through Facebook and continues through our interactions in ministry projects, Zoom Meetings and sharing through Whatsapp.

Reading this book reminds me of Simone Weil’s book titled Gravity and Grace, where the main difference and superiority of Christianity lies in the fact that Christianity does not (only) search for the spiritual cure of suffering, but also the spiritual benefit of suffering. And that is what is discussed in this book, i.e. the spiritual cure for people suffering from depression and the spiritual benefit of depression. A genuine expression from Jeffrey in various forms of literature genre, beginning with long academic prose, short essays, poetry, hymns, reflections, testimonies, and many other forms of expression, has exposed lay readers to Reformed Evangelical theology and the meaning of depression from various angles. Jeffrey, during the dark nights of his soul has explored various solutions, beginning with psychology, modern treatment, and its alternatives. The most memorable chapter for me personally is the benefit of depression while being in the hospital. In it, we shall see a change of paradigm and a change of mindset from being the person inflicted with suffering (a victim) to become the Lord’s servant who is resting and at the same time effectively participating in the spreading of the gospel and in other people’s recovery. This chapter is unique and comprehensive, but I have never read it in any other book. At a glance, people might not be interested to read the personal weaknesses of someone who is hurt, which is revealed in an open and straightforward way. But behind all that, I see the amazing work of the Lord in this book, which becomes like an open gospel, which is worked out through someone like Jeffrey Lim.”

• Iwan Sandjaja, B.Eng., M.Sc., M.Eng., (Ph.D. Student) – A fellow seeker of light in the midst of the dark night of the soul, and a friend in social media

 “Praise be to God, the Father for through the book God’s Light in the Midst of Darkness we can see how good the Lord is. He sustains the life of His people. Through this book, brother Jeffrey reminds me to consistently focus on the work of Christ in my life. The ultimate center of our lives is Christ. Thank you for sharing with us, Bro. May brother Jeffrey’s life continue to become the extension of Christ’s love. Jesus Bless Us.”

• Prillia Setiarini – Member of GRII Bandung and survivor of bipolar disorder in the grace of the Lord

 “This world is a dark blinding place. It is extremely dark that we can even feel comfortable hurting ourselves and each other the whole time. Our mutual enemy is this world, our own worldliness, and the devil. The Bible has warned us about the system of this world and its rulers. In the epistle of 1 John 2:15-17, it is said, “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever” (ESV).  We need light to resist the dark world, and that light is the love of God. And the Lord is working through His Word and His people. I am thankful for my childhood friend, Jeffrey Lim, for his book and his testimony. May the Lord use him to reach others, to become a light to those who are seeking a way out of depression toward freedom in Christ.”

• Elia Yoesman –Elementary School Friend 

“This book does not glorify its author. Instead, it proclaims that God is The Only One who can turn darkness into light. Every theological and philosophical exposition, and also the life testimony of its writer carry a transformational message: it is only by the strength that comes from God that he is able to trust in God’s presence that surpasses all circumstances. Read this book. It is truly a blessing.”

• Daniel Santoso – serving in Taiwan, Cina, Hongkong

“This book arises from a deep distress of the soul, a profound meditation of the Word of God, and a long recovery process until finally, brother Jeffrey Lim found God’s light in the midst of darkness. This book also resulted from a deep longing in his heart to become a blessing for others who are experiencing struggles in the midst of the soul’s darkness. All glory be to God alone!” 

• Johny Sumadi – Pastor of GKY Tanjungpinang

“This book is the result of a long personal struggle in mental problems.  The writer makes theology the foundation of his writing and includes psychiatrist reviews in order to provide practical suggestions for those who suffer from depression..”

• Bong San Bun

“Behind the darkness of Jeffrey Lim’s life shines the true light of the LORD’s glory.”

• Soli Deo Gloria Prayer Group, friends from Indonesian Presbyterian Church Youth Fellowship, Sydney, Australia

“When the light of God comes, darkness fades. The true light of God is desperately needed by everyone. And, Jesus Christ Himself, the True Light of God is the answer for the darkness of man’s soul. Read this book. May the reader gain an inspiration on how the Lord is able to change a person’s life from darkness into light.”

• Evelyne M. Hidjaja – Jeffrey Lim’s aunt (from the father’s side)

“Read this book, and enjoy it the way you would enjoy a conversation with a friend and a fellow believer who cares.”

• Bakti Anugrah, M.Th. – Roommate in STTRII [previously Reformed Institute])

“I have known Jeffrey in Sydney, while serving together in Indonesian Presbyterian Church. We were also housemates for a few years before Jeffrey returned to Indonesia. We used to share with each other about our life struggles and I have personally witnessed how Jeffrey wrestled with his illness back then. I am thankful to see the work of the Lord in Jeffrey’s life that he has written about in this book. It has not been easy to battle for years with mental illness and to constantly hold fast to the promises of God’s Word. This book is very unpretentious, coming from a personal struggle. Reading this book is like imagining Jeffrey himself speaking directly to me. It seems that Jeffrey is eager to reach out to fellow friends who also suffers from this mental illness and to encourage them to keep on holding on to Christ and to hope in Christ. This book is also a theological book. Jeffrey writes about many profound Christian doctrines about God, about man and the purpose of life, and how God loves us and is willing to help us, including those who struggle with mental illness. I think Jeffrey’s approach in this book is very holistic and comprehensive. He is speaking not merely from a spiritual viewpoint, but also from the medical and psychological perspectives. For humans are complex creatures, consisting of the body, soul, and spirit. Communities and family members also play a huge role in the lives of those suffering from mental illness, and the writer also include those in his writing. Personally, I really enjoyed reading this book. This book not only includes writings, but also biographies, songs, poems, and numerous Bible verses. All these are combined and packed into a writing which I am sure will provide strength, comfort, and hope in the Lord Jesus Christ for our fellow brothers and sisters in faith who are struggling with mental illness.The Lord understands their struggle, for their lives are precious in His eyes, and God can use their lives for His glory and for the benefit of others. Soli Deo Gloria.”

• Adi Susanto, B.Eng., M.Com. – Housemate in Sydney

 “A very fine book! Here, we can feel the powerful battle of a child of God who realizes who he is and what is happening to him. The touch of divine love and light which  illumines the soul empowers us to fight against lust, which arises in the soul and through the soul to the body. This book is filled with theological content. As we read this book and are touched by the divine love and light, we can recharge our soul to be restored and to be perfected as we grow to be more like Christ – the Image and Likeness of God. I recommend that you read this book in order that we may find the true identity of our soul. Thank you to Jeffrey Lim who has sincerely and honestly shared his testimony and his theology with us all. The Lord Jesus Christ be with us as we sail the ocean of this life with God, the Father, and the Holy Spirit. Amen!”

• Hendi Wijaya, S.S., M.Div., M.Th., D.Th. – President of STT Soteria, Purwokerto

“Thankful and amazed for a life work that is readable and becomes a light of hope for anyone among us. An expression of an honest journey of someone with mental illness (a stigma for our world) which causes suffering, struggle, and inexpressible battle for the person himself and for his family. The writer’s exposition not only provides a holistic and theologically integrated knowledge, but also a very personal and authentic expression of faith, along with his family and community.

Referring to the statement from WHO, every year 20-25% adults, 17% youth, 10% children struggle with mental Ilness, Jeffrey Lim’s life work as shown by its title can become an inspiration as well as a guidance for whoever is directly dealing with mental illnes or for whoever is concerned with the struggles in the area of mental illness, a condition that cannot be blamed on anyone, but that results from the sinfulness of mankind and the world which are continuously loved by the Lord God, their Creator, Redeemer, and Owner.”

• Lily Efferin, S.Th., M.A.